To put things into perspective, I was born at the tail end of generation X, right at the cusp of what is known as the MTV Generation. Basically scraping the waterlogged wood at the bottom of the barrel as far as cool childhoods go. Looking back, I can’t help but weep for kids today and what they consider a fun Halloween. I look at my 13-year-old niece and think back on the nights of walking and whoring my cuteness for free candy. Ah, the good ole days.
It was in the late 80’s. I was about 9 or so at the time and I had a huge crush on the Corys, and I remember feeling guilty for cheating on my husband, L.L. Cool J. The girl who lived next door had an unhealthy obsession with New Kids on the Block and owned all the dolls, accessories and the bed spread. The Jheri Curl was awesome and I hated my mom for not letting me get one. The first Bush was president, AIDS and crack was a thing and there was some sort of recession going on, but I couldn’t care less. Why? Because I was 9 and it was friggin’ Halloween y’all!
I wanted to dress up as Betty Boop that year, but my mom wasn’t going to have her kid parading around the neighborhood in slutty fishnets, so I wore a Betty Boop t-shirt and a plastic mask that was hot enough to melt my face off and would cut my tongue when I dragged it through the mouth slit.
I lived in a pretty big neighborhood and there were plenty of kids and parents with flashlights crowding the streets. But my mom was paranoid and watched the news religiously, so I had to go out with my sister. She was about 16 at the time, so one would think she’d be way too old and too cool to go trick-or-treating with her baby sister. Oh NO, this girl pimped me out and demanded a 25% cut of the nights earnings, including but not limited to, ALL Reese’s Peanut Butter cups, fireballs and Sweet Tarts. Highway robbery!
After tossing out all the butterscotch and candy corn—yuck—I’d have enough treats to support my sugar habit until Christmas, where I would find a random Dumdum or Tootsie Roll in the couch cushions.