Random Dumbness

This page is about…well, Random Dumbness, things I see in my everyday life, stupid stuff I tell friends, and little things that make my agent giggle.

THIS WEEK'S TOPIC: Playing Catch-up with Old Friends (not always a good idea)

Last November, I was invited to my ten year high school reunion. (Yes I’m that old)

I didn’t go. Why? Because I HATE awkward small talk and I still speak to everyone I cared about in high school on a regular basis. It will likely be another ten years before I see those old classmates again, so why invest the time and energy? Call me cruel, call me lazy, but there’s just WAY too many flaky people in the world.

The one thing that bugs me about living in my hometown is that at the most inopportune time, I’m likely to run into someone I hadn’t seen in over a decade. Then comes the feign surprise, like they’ve been searching the globe for me, and running into me at Target will now end their sleepless nights.

Next comes the patronizing question, “So, what have you been up to?” Then I have to sum up X number of years of accomplishments/failures on the spot. Sometimes I want to make up stuff, like I work for the CIA and I’m now on an undercover mission in the suburbs, or how I got kicked off a reality show, or my hot, sweaty affair with Jude Law. Something! I try to put myself in a good light, but my life is as dull as they come.

Then when it’s their turn to share, our little run-in turns into an hour-long session at the therapist’s office. Apparently no one in my town is afraid to put their business in the street: divorce, custody battles, rehab, DUI’s, pending court dates, failed suicide attempts, and moving back in with parents. After hearing all that, I leave thinking, “Hey, my life isn’t so bad,” and I completely forget why I came into the store in the first place.

So, yeah I try to avoid running into people I used to know at all costs, which was why I replied to my reunion invitation with a big “NO THANKS.” I’m already a shy, awkward bundle of nerves; no need to add more discomfort. That ship has sailed, so I look ahead and welcome new people with open arms!

If you have the same anxiety or have gone through a similar encounter, leave a comment. I’d love to hear it.