Bad Boys, Bad Boys: Whacha Gonna Do

Consider this a public service announcement to all young girls and adults who write for young girls. Words of wisdom from thirty-year-old me to the sixteen-year-old in all of us.

Bad boys = Bad boyfriends. I can understand the appeal, their rebellious nature, their apathetic approach to life, and their lack of basic hygiene. This is all alluring in the isolated scope of high school, where prom and locker gossip is the only truth you adhere to. Bad boys have become a popular staple in teen fiction since the 50’s with James Dean’s rendition of a tormented youth, and there’s been a plethora of imitators ever since.

Let’s start out with the loner from the wrong side of the tracks, complete with the stereotypical attire: ripped jeans, leather jacket, greasy hair, tattoo, and motorcycle. Under that hard, rough exterior lays a hurt child with a heart of gold. More often than not, that scared little boy will grow into an angry man and develop a substance abuse problem.

Then there’s the rich bad boy, the Chuck Bass’s of the world; manipulative, spoiled, walking venereal disease who has more dirty laundry than the dry cleaners. If you are lucky enough to marry one of these gems, expect embezzlement, dead hookers, and an illegitimate love child scandal waiting in your future.

And let’s not forget the supernatural bad boy. His angelic looks and god-like powers gives him cart blanche to creep in your room at night and attend high school for the simple purpose of stalking you during the daytime hours. They’re the heroes who will stop a bullet for you, but also rip out the throats of any boy who talks to you. This is what battered woman shelters were created for, ladies and gentlemen. Honestly, what’s a measly restraining order to an immortal?

But women, by nature have the Florence Nightingale neurosis, or what the players call the ‘Captain Save A Ho” complex. We feel that it’s our civil duty to turn that delinquent into an upstanding pillar of the community. It provides a divine sense of uniqueness to be the only one who understands him, feel his pain, the only one who can save him from himself. It makes the heart flutter when that guy comes to your house in the rain and proclaims that you alone are the reason he wants to try.

I get it. I really do. But young girls need to be aware that it takes more than a smile and starring at each other for hours to reverse years of deviant behavior. And girls are deluding themselves if they think otherwise. Some girls deliberately seek out the bad boy as a means to escape their strict, mundane lives. It’s exciting and sexy to live on the edge, which makes for a lot of passion and irrational thinking.

Tips to live by: If a guy declares that he can’t live without you, Run! Unless you’re donating an organ to this dude, this is not flattering. This means he has nothing else going for him, no aspirations, no dreams, and nothing interesting to talk about for all eternity but how much he loves you. That gets boring after the ten thousandth time you hear it.

I discovered this truth when I was fifteen while watching the final episode of My So-Called Life. Call me bitter, but I’m STILL angry that Angela ran off with Jordan Catalano and left Brian Krakow standing in the street with his heart in his hand. This is a shitty message for girls and boys, that good guys finish last, that a guy has to be an inconsiderate and abusive asshole to get the girl.

What girls don’t realize is that those Brian Krakows of the world will end up being the Bill Gates and the Mark Zukerbergs of the world, while your bad boy will end up on an episode of Cops or Judge Judy.

~The more you know~