F MY FEELINGS

Dear Jaime,

 What’s good, home skillet!

You’ve been off the grid for a while now, and I’ve waited patiently for you to get your butt in gear. The past two years has brought a lot of health problems and family issues--I get it. But complacency has wiggled its way into your life and made a home where ambition and discipline used to live. You’ve given fear and emotions too much power over your decisions. All of that second-guessing is running up the Anytime Minutes on your timetable and getting you nowhere.

But you’re playing it safe, though, right? You’re being practical, right? You’re just waiting for that rush of inspiration to wash over you, right? I hate to break it to you, but it’s not coming. To be honest, it was never there to begin with. You just had a random idea that you made the conscious decision to act on. Even after the excitement wore off, you decided to see it through until the end. You were confused, scared, bored to tears, frustrated, tired, bitter and depressed, but you finished the work anyway. Why? Because motivation doesn’t bring things to life. ACTION DOES.

It doesn’t take a star athlete to know that points are achieved by moving toward the goal, not waiting for the goal to come closer. The finish line is painted onto the track.  It never moves, but the runners do, and their mood won’t change the length of the track field. Actions are the plot. Feelings are the details, and too many of them can slow down a story or stop it altogether. Emotions are intangible. They don’t adhere to the five senses and they have no unit of measure. They have no grasp on the world outside your head, yet they’ll lead you around like they know where they’re going. In other words: F*** your feelings!

Your insecurity doesn’t need diet and exercise. Your body does. Nobody asked if you “felt like” working on your project today; the question was, “Will it be finished by tomorrow?” Neither passion nor apathy will remove the dead-possum smell from your house. But getting up and taking out the trash will get the ball rolling. You know exactly what you need to do and how to do it, and if you don’t know how, there’s a YouTube tutorial on it somewhere, I promise you.

Don’t think, just do it.

Everyone’s been saying that for years. Nike tells you to “just do it”. Shia Labeouf is screaming for you to “just do it!” 70s funk songs tell you to “do it ‘till you’re satisfied.” I’d take it a bit further and say, “Do it NOW!” Don’t walk. Run! Like your life depends on it. Don’t stop for your coat and hat. Don’t try to go back and save anyone, and never look behind you. That’s how you get killed in horror movies. In the movie of life, the real ax murderer is your mind, and you’ve got five seconds to haul ass before it drags you back into that meat locker in the basement. FIVE SECONDS.

According to Mel Robbins’ 5-Second Rule philosophy, that’s how long you’ve got to act on a decision before the brain lambasts you with reasons to stop. The brain is all about self-preservation and comfort. At any agitation (big or small), the brain will send out signals to get you to course-correct. These signals are the “what if” and “I don’t have” statements that loop in your head.

What if I …

Fail/ lose everything/ get humiliated/ get hurt/get it wrong/ waste even more time by doing (fill in the blank).

Or I don’t have the…

 Time/money/resources/connections/talent/energy/ enthusiasm to do (fill in the blank).

Every worse-case scenario plays in your head and NONE of that crap has happened yet. It’s a scare tactic that your brain uses to keep you safe; it’s the guilt-trip from an overprotective mother. It’s the urban legend that turns out to be a low-key abstinence and anti-drug ad. The methods have a high success rate. After all, you still check inside the toilet for alligators before you sit down and the last 30+ years of your life can attest to the power of intimidation. Once you acknowledge what’s really going on, those feelings become less distracting.

After that, there’s nothing left to it but to DO IT. Not now, but RIGHT NOW. If anything, do it for the sake of your feelings. Do it so you can feel better, feel confident and feel a sense of accomplishment. Emotions are as pure and delicate as children. They need to be nurtured in a healthy environment and protected at all costs, but they also need to know boundaries and discipline. You’ve indulged them for far too long. It’s time to put the kids to bed so the grownups can finally get some work done.

Sincerely,

Your Inner voice