3 To The Mother F***ing 0

BEHOLD! The eighth wonder of the world… according to my mother. On this day at approximately 12:34 PM, I came on the scene to wreak unspeakable havoc on the planet and its inhabitants. Today is the day where I can gloat without shame and bask in the glory that is ME!! Bow Down, Bitches! It’s MY DAY. I’ve circled the sun 30 times and I’ve got the burns to prove it!

At first, I was a little troubled about turning the big 3-0, but then I felt the same way when I turned 2-0. I doubt things will get better in the next decade. I too am a slave to the dreaded timeline, that formulized template of expectations: college, career, home, marriage, kids, blah, blah, blah. As Time passed, I’ve realized that life is NOT, nor was it meant to be a one-size-fit-all outfit. I may not have achieved the things I wanted, but I’m thankful for one major accomplishment— survival.

It’s indeed a triumph considering the number of kids who don’t make it out of high school. It is quite the victory to know what I want to do when I grow up, instead of walking the earth in constant confusion. This is a new turn in my life, where I can no longer blame youth for my errors in judgment. It’s time to put on my Big-girl panties and own up to adult responsibilities while still maintaining the child-like fascination with life. This juggling act will take a lot of practice, but will impress many friends and naysayers when I pull it off. Myself included.

So here’s to me and my fabulousness, the wonderful people I’ve met along the way, and those I have yet to meet. Here’s to chocolate cake, awesome gifts, and badly sung songs on my behalf. Here’s to 30 punches in the arm and one to grow on. Here’s to another year of borrowed time and the petition for one more.

Cheers!